Let's do this.
Okay, here we go.
My name is Elyssa Faith Hulse, soon to be Elyssa Faith Schultheiss. And here I am. Writing something that can be read by anyone at anytime.
And I am terrified.
I’ve made so many excuses for myself of why I shouldn’t start writing. 1) I’m not a good enough writer. 2) No one will read it. 3) This will just be another blog out there. 4) I don’t want to be “the girl with anxiety.”
But you know what? Those are all fears. And I don't want to listen to them anymore. I am going to write. And if you want to listen, then go right ahead! Because I am sick of allowing fear to keep me where I am without taking a step into the unknown. Alright, here we go! And truly, thank you for reading.
I am currently on a journey of discovering more about myself and the things that make me tick. I have always told myself that I am just a nervous person. But recently I’ve realized that my “nervousness” takes over my life way too often.
Anxiety. Fear. Worry. They take over. I am sick of it, but sometimes I feel like my fear is just too overwhelming.
My journey of this discovery started with a few conversations with individuals who have anxiety. These conversations were moments when I felt like that person was looking into my brain.
I am now in counseling and discovering how often this thing called anxiety has taken a hold on my life. I’ve been learning that fear, worry, and anxiety has taken over from some of my earliest memories.
When I was little, I was afraid of sickness because I had gotten super sick and it made me feel out of control. I was afraid to eat, go to school, and interact with others.
When I was in junior high, I was afraid that I wasn’t going to have any friends and that everyone would leave me. So I felt like I had to earn other’s attention by performing and being “perfect.”
I could keep going but there are so many fears that have built upon one another. Each of my fears have deep roots. But these roots have taken on the disguise of smaller fears that control my everyday.
For example, I have the deep root fear of the unknown and being out of control. This root takes on the disguise of a fear of sickness. When I am driving, it takes on the disguise of a fear of accidents or any car issues.
Part of my journey has been defining and examining these deep roots within my fear. So throughout this blog you will see the way that fear takes on a disguise and tries to steal my joy. But I am on a journey to determine the disguise and refuse to give it power anymore.
I want to call out the fear for what it is. When we begin to discover the roots and call them by name, we can tell them to get the hell out of here.
That is the purpose of this blog. It will be full of everyday stories that lead to discoveries. My hope and prayer is that as you read this you will begin to discover the disguise fear has taken in your own life. Perhaps we can join together on this journey.
Let’s call fear out and tell it to leave.
Pheww! Here we go! I am thankful to go along on this journey with you.