December 21st, 2017.
The day that Jeremy asked me to be his wife.
The best day of my life.
It was the type of day that I wished I could bottle up each and every moment and replay it whenever I wanted. The day was spent at all of our favorite places, celebrating our dating journey and preparing to take the next step.
December 21st propelled us into a new season of our lives.
Jeremy and I have reflected a lot on what this season has meant to us. A lot of life change, planning, and preparation have already happened in the past few months.
It has also been such a sweet season of anticipation.
As much as we are beyond excited for our wedding day, this season has been special and shaping in so many ways.
This season of preparation has taught us the beauty of sitting in the midst of anticipation.
In life, it’s hard to sit in patience. Our culture pushes us to focus on the next thing: the next stage, the next career, the next school, etc. As a society, we have trouble just sitting in the midst of anticipation and enjoying the beauty that is around us.
I don’t want to miss the formative parts of this engagement season. It’s really easy to be solely focused on all the details of the wedding, and miss the growth of this season. The ways that we are relying on one another in new ways. The ways that we are making decisions together in the midst of the unknown. The choices we get to make while building our home.
I don’t want to miss any of it.
I often say that my mind hardly sits still. It’s constantly moving and thinking about the next thing I have to do. Just take a look at my To Do list. Constant scribbles forming a never-ending list.
When we are still, our minds begin to slow and our eyes shift to the things around us. The person that is sitting right across from us with their support and care. The ways that they continue to show up and support even when your mind is going a million miles per hour.
Peace. Beauty. Content.
Contentment is a state of happiness and satisfaction.
Anticipation is the action of expectation or prediction.
These two words seem to contradict one another. But what if they actually compliment each other rather than contradict?
Our society and culture scream at us to be more and do more. Fill up your To Do list even more. Make more. Be more. Do more. It is a never-ending stream of worry and anxiety.
We become so consumed with the worry of the future and what’s next, that our eyes become blind to the beauty that’s around us. We become so internally worried about the future that we forget to look up and see what is happening all around.
The future can be exciting and we can live in anticipation of what’s to come. But it’s important not to forget what is happening in the present moment.
The art of recognizing the beauty around you, which propels you into a state of excited anticipation.
This content anticipation is the beauty of this season of engagement.
We are aware of one another. Aware of the ways that our minds are growing together. Aware of the ways this season is molding and preparing us.
This awareness is what propels us into a state of excited anticipation. Anticipation of what is to come. The future ways we will grow together. The ways that we will continue to grow in new changes and seasons.
Jeremy, I see you and love the ways you choose me in this season. Thank you for learning beside me as we navigate our current and future adventures. I love being your fiancé and I cannot wait to be your wife.